Dear The Queen,

Good afternoon Maam,It’s Sally and I’m writing to you all the way from the land of Morocco to ask a big favour. I’m sure that you remember me, what with us being great friends (because I’m English and you’re the Queen, and so naturally you’re friends with all the Brits).

The favour I wanted to ask is about the eagerly anticipated wedding of Williams. I have been informed by my Moroccan father, Mr Aziz (I told you all about him the last time we hung out together, if you remember) that he hasn’t actually received his invite to the wedding yet. He’s really excited to meet Williams and also of course Shaaaarlle [Charles, to anyone who feels lost] and yourself.

Over here we don’t really care much about a monarchy other than our own, so you should definitely maintain this great link you have by inviting Mr Aziz. I know you may think that sending Shaaaarlle and Camille over here to Fes* was enough, but I really think this invitation wouldn’t go amiss.

Much love,

PS Here is a photo of us chillin’ together the last time we met up, to remind you of who I am. Shame about the quality, but it’s definitely us.

* I think I forgot to mention that while I was back in the UK, Charles and Camilla visited Fes. As far as I can make out, it was spectacularly uneventful. Which explains that bit.

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