Category Archives: Language


I have spent the last 3 days with my voice dipping in and out of action (punctuated by very aggressive coughing). It sounds a lot worse than it is, which makes it fairly funny, particularly as my job involves quite a lot of talking.

I’m good at talking, as a general rule. In the right context. I’m very good at talking to your nan, and I’m fairly good at talking to people who are more senior than me. I’m good at being ‘bubbly’. The talking I’m best at is thanking people profusely, or apologising a lot for things which are completely beyond my control. Which, for the record, is always genuine. I am just a very apologetic person.

I’m not great at speaking other languages (as previously discussed, at length), but I am good at talking about language. Which is probably a bit confusing. And definitely very nerdy. But I’m quite proud of it, really.

However. I am very very bad at one specific kind of talking, and that is talking to people of roughly my own age in a social context. Particularly in a vaguely romantic context.

Apparently, past me thought this might be conquered by the internet. I might be terrible at talking, but I’m not terrible at writing (dear lord, never read back to the start of this blog if you believe the last phrase). I figured that hiding behind an internet profile might help me talk to more people. And it has, technically.

But the thing is, if you talk to someone long enough on the internet, eventually they might want to meet up with you. My research shows that no amount of talking on the internet prevents awkward silences and staring into drinks in real life. It’s not fun. It’s probably quite fun-ny, and it makes for fairly good anecdotes (there’s another kind of talking I’m good at – laughing at myself) but it’s not fun at the time, it’s just difficult.

I always used to think I was an extrovert, but as I’ve grown up I’ve realised I’m really not. I’m just an outgoing introvert, who turns into an actual introvert the second social interaction is involved. I always thought that being talkative was what made you an extrovert, but recently someone explained that it’s more about where you get your energy from, and I do not get my energy from other people. It takes all my energy away, which is probably why I freeze up so much as soon as I’m around a person I actually want to talk to.

I’m sure that one day I will learn how to do the talking to the people, but for the moment I am going to continue voiceless.

And not only because I cannot shake this ridiculous cold.

Twenty Eighteen

What can I say about 2017. It has been a horrible year. Not all of it, of course, in fact a great deal of it has been wonderful. Sometimes it just feels like the bad overshadows the good. I’m very optimistic that 2018 will go the other way.

I don’t *do* New Years’ resolutions, because I fundamentally disbelieve the idea that you can begin new things in January. It’s cold, and horrible, and all normal people should want to be constantly wrapped in blankets and fed cheese.

That therefore means that these aren’t resolutions, they are just aspirations for my 2018.

  • I would like to smile more. I am irrepressibly optimistic (it’s frankly quite annoying) but I am not sure I really smile very often. This year I’d like to smile more, and find lots of reasons to smile.
  • I’d like to improve my overall health. I’m still very prone to illness (misc) and I still have achey joints, and I definitely believe these are fixable things, with a little work.
  • For years I’ve been trying to learn German, and Greek, and a whole variety of other languages. I’m not sure I’ll ever really learn them (despite the 6 years of university, I’m not a natural linguist) but I would like to try and use them, by going to more places.
  • Lastly, I’d like to learn how to rest. It seems so easy when other people do it, but my brain just buzzes away and won’t let me stop, and actually that’s probably causing the lack of smiling, and the illness, and probably the inability to focus on learning a language to be quite honest. So learning to rest is my final aspiration.

Resolutions are a lot of pressure. It’s ok to leave them for a while (I totally stand by April Resolutions) and just begin the year with a few nice aspirations.

After all, the one big positive of having a horrible time is that from here, the only way is up.

Songs for a New World

The future is global, regardless of the whims of the BNP or Donald Trump, or Katie Hopkins (a woman who should genuinely be shot into outer space and left to shrivel up alone). And so, to celebrate this fact, I’ve decided to compile a list of songs I love in languages other than English.

This post may also be fueled by Boyfriend’s obsession with the first track.

Despacito – Luis Fonsi ft. Daddy Yankee
This is everyone’s favourite tune at the minute, and I have to say, it’s pretty catchy. Particularly without unnecessary Justin Bieber.

Aicha – Khaled Sahra
My mum used to listen to this when I was younger, and get me to translate the lyrics for her. I have no idea how I did.

Ai Se Eu Te Pego – Michel Teló
Catchy AF (here AF standing for “and forgettable” because I can never remember the name of it and then end up just searching for vowel sounds until I hit the right few)

Adiemus – Karl Jenkins
I’m not sure if this counts, because it isn’t actually in a language – it’s been designed to just sound calming but structured.

Ya Banat – Nancy Ajram
This was played to us in one of my Uni classes, and I don’t know how you can’t love this song, even if just for the video.

Que me quedes tu – Shakira
She had to make an entry on the list somewhere, right? Because she’s the queen of my entire life.

Bonustrack – La Oreja de Van Gogh
Spanish language songs were always likely to dominate this list, because I am biased towards my own language base, and there is something about this song which has always just made me smile.

Major Tom – Peter Schilling
I am historically not a fan of German, because it has too many genders and cases, and LOTS of syllables. But Deutschland 83 and its amazing soundtrack definitely won me over.

Volare – Domenico Modugno
It would be wrong not to recognise Eurovision as the home of all the best music, and Volare just feels like the right choice for peak Eurovision.

Metaphorically Speaking

Who doesn’t love a metaphor? Only unfun people who don’t enjoy language, that’s who.

Here is an example of a metaphor. I am a match. What do you mean, I hear you cry (my imaginary friend). Well, I am mostly beige, apart from my head which is bright red and also on fire.

I accept this isn’t a great metaphor.

It’s totally true though. The colour that my face goes when I exercise is a sight to behold. You can feel the heat radiating from my cheeks from 10cm away, and I go a violent shade of red. It is not a healthy colour. I look like I’ve been running from a maniac with a kitchen knife. I imagine.

The reason for the redness and heat is that I have enough energy almost every day lately to exercise. Which is phenomenal,  and hasn’t happened for the longest time (/or maybe since last summer, idk). So I am. Each day this week I have done a 10 minute strength circuit, a 10 minute circuit or either arms, legs, or abs, and then 10 minutes of cardio. And then a cooldown.

And I feel I should note that it is so irritating when workout videos don’t actually explain “child pose” or “upwards facing dog” just as you are in a yoga pose that forces you to stare at the floor. But I cam get over it.

Basically, summer y’all. It is great.

Powerful Weapons

Words are powerful weapons.

One of the most powerful words in the world right now is ‘terrorism’, and we need to stop giving it so much power. Terrorism is the act of inciting the sentiment of terror within a person, or a group of people. That happened yesterday, sadly, in the city of Manchester, and it was perpetuated against a group of innocent bystanders. It was perpetuated against children.

Today, the media stormed in with questions about a ‘terrorist attack’ or an ‘act of terrorism’. But that’s not what it is. It’s a crime, committed by one or more violent criminals. And those criminals are getting what they want the second we call it terrorism. Because when you give it a name, you give it power and agency, and you allow the world to believe that the effect of the attack is that it terrifies you.

We are not terrified. Appalled, yes. Distraught, yes. But not terrified.

This is something which the western media has been perpetuating for years now, and it’s a mirage. It’s a narrative which continues to exist in order to protect the people who are spending money waging the “war on terror” as if war against a sentiment is a meaningful act. It’s a war we’ve already lost, every time we allow acts of barbaric violence to be termed “terror attacks”.

Don’t become part of the narrative. Don’t allow yourself to be sucked into the rhetoric of “extremists” (because many people are extreme, but they don’t always kill others), or “religious motivation” (because many people are religious, and see above). Don’t be fed a lie of the stereotypical terrorist, because that person doesn’t exist. Terrorists do not exist. Dangerous, damaged, often exploited people with an agenda to attempt to incite the feeling of terror do. Let them terrify you and they have achieved their aim.

And as an addendum, don’t let acts like this cloud your mind on national and international policy. The media are a tool of the powerful, and the powerful want to continue subsidising their empty war. Don’t be forced into the belief that the “war on terror” is necessary, or effective. There are many great threats in the world. The word ‘terror’ is not one of them.

This word is a powerful weapon. Do not be threatened by it.


The internet defines definition as:

but that probably doesn’t really cover it.

Definition is complicated, because it’s quite subjective, for something purported to be ‘exact’. My definition of something might be completely different to someone else’s, and it’s easy to trip up when you begin trying to apply your definitions to the wider world. You learn quickly that if your definition clashes with someone else’s, you’re probably in for a rocky ride.

This train of thought stems from a comic by a lovely artist called Ruby, which I saw last week. The comic is about a person being instantly pigeonholed by the person they are talking to, and the message is about not defining people by a single trait. It’s a message I totally agree with, but wow, did it generate some discussion.

In particular, one commentator stated that you are defined by your actions – so if you paint, you’re a painter, and if you’ve got soul then you’re a soldier, etc. Which is definitely one way to develop a definition, but as was pointed out in response, might mean you define someone by their least favoured action or trait.

The thing is, some people get angry about this. They see it as presumptive. But we need definitions  to make sense of the world, and until you are told that your definition of a person is subjectively wrong, you will naturally ascribe them the definition which best suits them according to your understanding.

I’ve moved around a lot in my life, particularly through my childhood, and I am bad at answering the question ‘where are you from?’ because I haven’t properly decided my own answer. Or it varies with context. So I don’t mind that some people see me as Northern and some as Southern. But I do mind when people use their definition of me to assume something about me. Like, that I’m Southern so I don’t like mushy peas. Or I’m Northern so I never feel the cold.

These are obviously small examples, but this applies on a massive scale. We now live in an age where people are encouraged to self-define, but by doing so they often end up in someone else’s definition by mistake. You said you were this, so you must be XYZ. And if you’re not, you can’t be in the gang.

What’s your point, Sally? I hear you ask. Glad you asked, world.

My point is, don’t impose your definitions on other people, and don’t be offended if they have a different definition from you. If it’s you they are defining, correct them. Explain your side as far as possible. Recognise that they may have existed until this point never meeting anyone like you because there is no-one else like you. We need definition in life, to understand the world around us, and our place in it. If someone has misunderstood you, help them understand. If you’ve misunderstood someone else, don’t let their self-definition force you to try and find a box to put them in. They might not fit there. That’s fine.

Can’t get no (decent) sleep

I know I’m blogging a lot recently, but don’t worry, soon I’ll find something else to amuse myself. It never lasts.

I’ve decided to define myself as a missomniac. I’m not an insomniac because that would mean that I have trouble sleeping, which I don’t. I’m great at sleeping. I sleep for hours. But then calling myself a somniac wouldn’t feel quite right either, because that’s just the logical opposite of insomniac, and so it doesn’t quite describe me. I’m a missomniac because I get plenty of really rubbish sleep. I am bad at sleep.

The internet (where the facts live, as we know) suggests that if you have a balanced sleep pattern then you go through 4-5 cycles of sleep a night, each of about 90 minutes. You begin in light sleep, then move to deep, then to REM. REM is the good bit, where the dreams happen,  and deep is the bit where you catalogue memories and generally recharge.

Deep and REM should be about 20% each of your night, and then light should be the other 60%. It depends on your age and various other things of course, but given I’m not an elderly lady or an infant, that should be about right.

So when I tell you that I get around 5 – 10% deep sleep per night, you can understand why I call myself bad at sleep.

Of course, I’m fairly used to sleeping “badly” at this point, but it’s still disappointing to wake up late on a weekend and feel no more refreshed than I do waking up early for work. Or worse, having days like today where I only really sleep just as I’m meant to be getting up, and then proceed to battle my own hair all the way to work because I had to rush and didn’t have time to dry it. It’s a drama.

Aside from the above, if you google my blog then it even knows that I have something dodgy and probably sleep-related going on.

Oh spirit! Sod off and let me sleep.

Brave New World

(Two asides to begin with – If you haven’t read the book ‘Brave New World’ I really recommend it. Also this is my 497th post, and since I’ll totally miss whenever I hit 500 I’m celebrating now. Look at me and all my fancy internet writing)

Anyone who read my last post, or who knows me, or really has interacted with me in the vaguest way, knows I am a nerd through and through. So it is of no surprise that I’m very excited about Leeds Digital Festival. Aside from anything, I know it is happening, which is often a challenge for me – I hear about all the most exciting theatre shows as they close, or academic talks just the final ticket sells. I’m generally bad at “keeping up”.

Other reasons for my excitement about the Digital Festival revolve around the thrilling world of data protection law, and data in general. Not to mention WordPress, cybersecurity, and people doing cool things with code. I’m a big fan all round to be honest.

My previous job was heavily involved in digital, from web content and plugins through to data processing and SEO. I fell into it (as one does), and for me it’s been down the rabbit-hole of digital ever since. It’s a brand new language to explore, not just in terms of actual coding languages (which are a mystery to me, just like most other languages, see the origins of this blog for context) but in terms of the entire world of digital culture. Timeframes are different, the landscape is new, and the risks and rewards are somewhat crazy, but diverse and exciting.

I’m lucky, because I’ve managed to take a passing interest in digital and turn it into something that impacts my whole life, from this blog (which needs a new theme, I know, I know) through to embedding data analysis into my job (where it probably never belonged, but hey ho). And so the idea of getting together with the other digital nerds who like pretty graphs and confusing algorithms and the whole of our brave new world of digital, is slightly my idea of heaven.

Only friendly nerd comments welcome today, please and thankyou.


Boyfriend and I had a discussion about this the other day, essentially along the following lines. What is the difference between a geek and a nerd, and are we one or the other or both?

The answer is, I’m definitely both, and he’s probably only a geek. This is using my personal definition, and also the definition provided by the internet which states;

There is a difference between geeks and nerds.

Nerds are smart, people who lack much of a social life. They often have very few friends. Nerds don’t talk much, and don’t expect others to talk much to them. They are usually nice people, but don’t have the social skills to go out and meet new friends.

Geeks are different from nerds in the fact that they have social lives. However, these social lives are often spent pursuing some passion that the geek is obsessed with (i.e. Yu-Gi-Oh!). They spend all their time thinking about their one obsession, and play it in all of their free time. Geeks are usually only friends with other geeks, and attempts to converse with geeks is futile, unless, of course, you want to talk about Star Trek or whatever the certain geek is obsessed with.*

My definition is more that nerds are analogue, and geeks are digital. But I’ll take both.

Today, I met up with a friend from many many years ago (pre-blog era, so I mean, AGES AGO) and decided that I am well and truly both a geek and a nerd.

Evidence for this. My friend is internet famous and I think that’s really cool. Apparently, I’m the only person who has said this to him, though I’m presuming he means in real life and out-loud (because the whole point of being internet famous is really not to be real life).

I think it’s cool, because I’m a geek, by my own definition. I love digital, and people who digital well, and understand technology and make it do cool things. The furthest I might go is a blog, but guys, at least that’s something. I also like games, which seems to lead to automatic geek status (unless those games are football games, which don’t count).

Boyfriend is a geek because this is our crossover. We play games together, and watch videos of people playing games, and he tells me about coding and I’m genuinely interested. He’s also a geek by the internet definition, because he has friends who are also interested in games, as well as friends who are interested in Astrophysics (his other geek subject of choice)

Here’s where my nerd thing comes in. My interests are very diverse, and I can practically see Boyfriend’s brain switching off once the topic moves away from geekery and into nerdery. And because I’m a bit of a nerd, I don’t talk to as many people because of my lacking social skills (see internet definition above).

I’m nerdy about all kinds of things. I’m a language nerd, a governance nerd, a theatre nerd, a fantasy nerd. In terms of fulfilling the stereotype, I’m there, with bells on. I’m also initially shy on any of those topics, until it becomes clear that I should share absolutely everything I know about Celtic mythology, or whatever the topic is. Once that happens, I imagine I light up like some kind of insane ball of energy, and unleash fact after fact until someone calms me down or I tire myself out. Being a nerd is a definite lifestyle choice.

All of my conversations with my friend today were geeky or nerdy, and it was pretty wonderful to remember there are people out there who are as far down those roads (maybe) as I am. We ended the day sitting in a park, and it was really as if the 9 years since we last really saw each other just hadn’t happened. Here’s to more geekery and nerdery and friends.

*Side note: When did Urban Dictionary stop being full of offensive definitions of my name and become all about actually useful definitions? I don’t like this new modern world.

**Second side note, not referenced at all in the text above (I’m bad at this). I’ve spent all day with this in my head, which I think was popular when me and my friend were friends previously (shut up, I know what I’m saying).

You’re welcome.

A Further Treatise on Words ‘n Stuff

So a couple of weeks ago I wrote about linguistics and politics and how people are really bad at them right now.

Turns out it’s happening again. Or this was always happening. I’m inclined towards the latter, but anyway.

Today I’d like to have a rant about the principle arbitrators of sins against the English language, that vast community of people who insist on using it incorrectly day after day, the Americans. And let’s start by clarifying that though I am grouping the subject of my rant under the banner of “Americans” I do not mean all Americans, nor do I mean this is only an issue of Americans. It’s just that guys, right now, you’re kinda the worst.

At this point let me also acknowledge that this is absolute armchair activism. But then I know there’s nothing I can do about the situation in the States anyway, because despite their perpetual need to stick their nose into the affairs of others, the American public in general is absolutely not responsive to any commentary made by a non-American. Unless they are funny. Or Nigel Farage. Go figure.

The misuse of words which I take issue with today are some of the best-known words from the “Star-Spangled Banner”, possibly my least favourite national anthem ever. The words I take issue with are

“O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave”

I think the reasons why I take issue with these words are immediately apparent. It’s two words in particular. I’ll take them one by one.

We all know that the American populace are some of the least free people in the world, so lets just set that to one side for now.

One of the oft-cited rights of all American citizens is freedom of speech. It is what gives Donald Trump the right to spew his relentless idiocy across as many channels as he can pay for, and it’s what gives insane gun lobbyists the right to be heard.

But Colin Kaepernick, he can’t even make his point through silence without an immediate backlash.

In case you’re not up to date, Kaepernick is the Quarterback of the San Francisco 49ers, and he has been all over the news lately for choosing to sit through the national anthem before his football games. He is doing so to protest the oppression of black people in the US.

And he’s free to do so, right? That’s a thing he’s allowed to do, because he’s a US citizen, so he can say and do what he likes so long as it’s not causing direct harm to others. I’m pretty sure those are the rules.

So looking at the above, you’d maybe say, “dunno what your problem is, there’s a brave American making use of his freedom. Just because he’s doing so by explicitly choosing to not sing those actual words doesn’t mean he isn’t free and brave”

And you, friend, would be right. Except that no-one seems to think he’s being brave. They just think he’s offending all of the brave souls that have gone out and died in the name of US freedom and bravery (and I have some views on the armed forces but we’ll get to that another time).

Some of the brave souls who have taken it upon themselves to serve the American people in maintaining their freedom (ostensibly) are the police force. Kaepernick’s protest is directed quite squarely at them, and so naturally they aren’t dead happy, but of course they are brave Americans and they recognise that the views of a single person shown through silent protest aren’t a threat, they are just airing their freedom.

Ah no. Wrong again. Because earlier today the good folks of the Santa Clara police stated that they will not send around 70 officers to work at 49ers games, because Kaepernick wore some socks with pigs in police hats, and now their pride is really bruised.


I’m sure it’s evident from my tone at this point that I take a very dim view of the reaction by the police force. It’s not exclusively because of their almost wilful ignorance of the true meanings of the words free and brave. I have issues aplenty to be frank. But for now, lets focus on the following ideas;

– A brave individual speaks out against an institution he believes is oppressive
– He is free to do so
– The institution in question are mandated to uphold freedom and safety of citizens
– They have chosen to do so, and are paid to do so
– Members of this institution choose to threaten the safety of the citizens, in order to protect their own pride
– The citizens choose to believe it is the brave, free individual who is threatening their safety

What are his threatening actions? Choosing not to sing the words “free” and “brave”.


Oh, and wearing a pair of socks.
If you need to attack someone for wearing a pair of socks, it really suggests you’ve got issues.