Talking about talking. On a blog called SallyTalks. I must be tired, get ready for all of the circular logic you’ve come to know and love(?).
How great is it when you just have a proper conversation. One which goes on for hours and hours accidentally, and you don’t really know where you started or the paths you took, but you ended up talking about EVERYTHING on the way. I love those conversations. Really good coffee-shop chats (especially if you live somewhere with nice coffee-shops…but that is a ranty post for another day).
The thing that is annoying about conversation is that it’s impossible to just achieve that level of engagement. You can’t manufacture it. As a person who love to talk, it is the most challenging part of my life trying to work out how to start talking to someone. You pick the wrong topic, get off on the wrong foot, say one single thing wrong, and you’re forever doomed to a lack of proper conversation with a person.
But that’s fine, right? Plenty more fish in the proverbial sea. But no, because it gets amplified when you’re actually friends with someone. I have been in the unfortunate position of completely losing friends because I misspoke during one conversation. Or, and this is even scarier, just tried to speak too much. You can’t push people to interact, even if it might be good for them or for you. Conversation has to just be natural.
So fine, good conclusion, conversation has to be natural. Time to end?
No. Because we don’t live in a world of natural encounters any more. I’d be honestly terrified of just starting up conversation with a stranger in the pub. Instead we are glued to that most anti-social of things, social media. It’s easier to be in contact with other people, but so much harder to start a conversation. I love the power of new media (hey there, welcome to my blog), but when I can’t see someone’s face, or know whether they are busy doing something interesting or staring at a screen like I am, how am I meant to start a conversation with them?
Maybe I need to write a book of openers, except instead of ones which make you feel like a creep at a bar, they’ll be questions or comments which people actually want to engage with.
Or maybe I’ll keep asking people how the weather is wherever they are.