I am having a down day.
If you’re writing me a post of condolence or an email to cheer me up, stop right there. Have you stopped? Good. Then I will explain.
Down days are not a bad thing. Not for me anyway. I consider them a chance to re-evaluate where I am in my life, because they normally start with me dropping to absolute zero. My down day started at about 3pm, after we got back from Lina’s naming. I realised that I had lied to Halima and Aziz so that I didn’t have to talk to our new (and very nice) maid, Houriya. I had told them I had a load of homework, when in fact I only had one piece.
Then I realised something else. I have five tests next week. That is enought to get anyone down. Then after that it just became a spiral ending in me wanting to drop out of my course and go home to lovely snowy England and huddle in a little cushioned ball in a corner somewhere and just be warm and not think about things. When I feel like that, then I have hit bottom,
What that means is that there is only one way to go, and that’s up. So deal with the little things, like getting my homework out of the way (done), do some test revision (done), get a shower in (done), and explain to my amazing Moroccan family why I am having so much trouble speaking Arabic, after having been here for a whole 3 months. The truth of it is that I love my degree and I love the Arabic language. But I’m a slow learner and I have no self confidence. Trying to force me to speak isn’t going to help me right now. But give me some time to get back on the horse. And then I’ll talk you to death.