I think I’m a confusing person.
Well, I know I’m a confusing person, just in general, but that’s not exactly what I mean. I don’t mean that I articulate things badly, or in an overly convoluted manner (as illustrated). Maybe I should rephrase. I think I’m a confused person.
I have a confused personality, and it’s something I’ve found myself explaining to people a lot recently. What do I mean? Here are a few examples:
- I used to be president of the Opera Society, but my go-to music is dubstep.
- I do an office job, but walk over 10,000 steps almost every day at work.
- I’ll stay up late to watch the Superbowl, or to watch live-stream Dungeons & Dragons
- I have no idea how to do my own make-up, but am obsessed by having perfect nails
- I’m outgoing but intensely shy
- I hated my Masters, but still want to go back to do a PhD.
- I don’t understand other people but immediately pick up their accents (which is apparently a sign of empathy, something I would say I am terrible at)
- I love art, but have absolutely no opinions on it at all
- I’m happiest when I’m around people, but always avoid making plans
- It’s my professional role to organise things, but I’m perpetually late
- I want people to think I’m “cool”, but still a) write a blog and b) post links to my blog on social media
- I’ve moved to a new continent by myself, but can’t bring myself to go on holiday alone
And I mean, I know these aren’t all contradictions, but it is just a lot of stuff to try and build a personality out of. It makes it difficult to convey what I’m like as a person, because actually I’m not even sure I really know. Or maybe I do know, but it’s just that I have 8 different personalities and that’s quite difficult to get across without sounding slightly mad.
Maybe I just need to settle on slightly mad, and leave it at that.