I have just spent an hour getting ready. I know a lot of girls do this, but it’s not usually me. We’ve got a birthday/end of exams meal tonight, and I thought I’d try to be pretty. So here are my:

1) French Manicure. If you have long nails this is a must for me. It looks classy and it makes your nails look clean. If you use a good brand of polish such as Sally Hansen and then make sure you apply a few coats but thinly, then it shouldn’t chip for a few days either.

2) Good foundation. Good foundation doesn’t have to be the expensive stuff. I have boots own-brand and it works great. It should completely match your skintone so that you don’t get oompaloompa lines around the sides of your face. And don’t wear too much. It’s a pain to take off and it’s obvious. Just even your face out and leave it at that.

3) Eyes. Yes, you should have them because if you don’t that’s (unfortunately) guaranteed to put a lot of people off. In terms of make-up, liquid on the top lid and pencil on the bottom is a good shout, and mascara, but NO FALSE LASHES. They’re weird and they fall off at inappropriate times.

4) Clothing. I have a lot to say on this issue, but for the minute, dear God will you learn to wear clothes that fit. Everyone can see if they don’t fit, and they don’t look as good, automatically. Some people suit a pair of jeans much better than a silly skirt and the second they learn that life will be better for all of us.

Enjoy being beautiful. Don’t say I never give you any advice.